so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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