i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
