in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
