If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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