Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize