Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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