My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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