Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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