thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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