Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
