The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
