There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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