epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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