I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Randomize
