i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
