Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
