I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
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