I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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