the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
