And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
