He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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