just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
