it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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