take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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