well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
