we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
