How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
