we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
