So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize