I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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