And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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