I'm really into asian looking animals
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
