I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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