In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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