so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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