Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
