drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
