I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
