My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
