they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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