i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
