Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
