My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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