Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I need to calm my uterus...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
