Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize