the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
bring money and cleavage
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
