Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
