I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
