We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
