He uses pillows to masturbate.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
