eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
