i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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