We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
