I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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