Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
my shit smells like andre
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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