oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
