well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I would fuck him just for his dog
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
