What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
