if you like me you must not know who I am
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
