Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
