If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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