Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The adults are the big ones right?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
