I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
