I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
