Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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