Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize