Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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